Hot & Not in Hollywood

What do you get when you cross a witch hunt with a golf cart full of classified documents?
This:

Make America Grift Again

It was the best of grifts, it was the worst of tweets.
It was the age of alternative facts, it was the age of deleted drafts.
It was the epoch of golden escalators, it was the epoch of golden indictments.
It was the season of MAGA hats, it was the season of mugshots.
It was the spring of rallies, it was the winter of subpoenas.
We had everything before us, except coherent policy.
We were all going direct to Truth Social,
We were all going direct the other way…in a golf cart, trailing classified documents like confetti.

There was a man, or a brand, or a brand of man,
Who spoke in superlatives and tweeted in ALL CAPS,
Whose hair defied wind and whose logic defied gravity.
He was the chosen one, self-anointed in a drizzle of Diet Coke,
A builder of walls, a breaker of norms, a collector of lawsuits.
He could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and lose a billion dollars,
And still claim victory with the confidence of a televangelist selling apocalypse insurance.

His kingdom was Mar-a-Lago, his court a rotating cast of lawyers and loyalists,
Each more indicted than the last, each clinging to relevance like a subpoena to a shredder.
He spoke of witch hunts while stirring cauldrons,
Of fake news while retweeting memes from accounts named “PatriotEagle1776.”
He promised to drain the swamp, then built a hot tub in it.
He was impeached twice, acquitted twice, and indicted thrice:
A hat trick of historical footnotes.

And yet, the crowds came.
Red-capped pilgrims in search of simpler times,
When coal was king, facts were optional, and covfefe was a beverage of the soul.
They cheered his every boast, booed every journalist,
And nodded solemnly when he declared windmills cause cancer.

It was the best of times… for satire.
It was the worst of times… for sanity.
And somewhere in the chaos, history scribbled in the margins:
“Are we sure this isn’t a reality show?”

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Unauthorized reproduction may result in spurious subpoenas.

~ * ~ Stay tuned, stay savage, stay sparkly — Holly out. ~ * ~